One last entry 26 August, 2007

Here are some of the pictures I took while I was walking from Suntec to the Indoor Stadium just 2 weeks ago. I always love the waterfront for they grant me a sense of serenity.

My first teachers’ day present this year, from my student whom I’ve been teaching for 1 year and 3 months. On the card, she wrote,

” Dear Jaslin,

you are a great teacher. I wish that you will teach in Raffles Girls’ School beacause I know that when you start teaching I will be in secondary school. Can you please do that?

From: Sharmaine, your studend” (a cute spelling mistake she made, shall ask her about it next week and make sure it was an accident)

Simple things like that really make my day, and surly, it makes me think about which career path I would want to embark upon. Tough choice.

As I was reading her card, I smiled. The innocence of a 7 year old girl, those words sure mean a lot. At least, I’m sure she meant what she wrote.

Maybe as we grow older, credibilty of our words fall. Maybe that is why an apology from me don’t seem to be working, whether over the blog or sms-es. And I do get the message judging by your response but as cheap as my words may seem to some, they are not, not to me.

And YS and reen just set up an online shop, www.chemistry-of-beads.blogspot.com. Go do some shopping! They have beautiful stuff! Go do some retail therapy online now!

I’m a radical girl who does radical things.

So as the title of this entry suggest, this would be the last entry here. Haha, maybe it’s the large amount of pics I post here, memory seem to be running out and I really love this domain, so I guess I’ll keep this blog, move onto a new one hopefully not for long (cos i really love this one), till I’ve decided to upgrade my account.

And a big thank you to those who reads this blog, whether I know you or not.

For those who had enough of me, this is the last entry. For those whom I’m confident can’t get enough of me(haha-i know my sense of humour is just quite screwed)… …

Till then, it has been good blogging here and I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did.

That happy girl 26 August, 2007

As we were the only ones left in the room, belting out number after number, I realise I’m a girl who don’t need too much to make me happy.

The simple, little things would do.

Having a good meal, following by desserts, with great company makes me one.

Being able to stand on stage and sing what I love to makes me one.

Seeing that I make someone else feel loved and happy makes me one.

Watching a worthy concert makes me one.

Reading my fave chick lit makes me one.

Eating quality alcoholic chocs makes me one.

Smoothering myself with moisturiser every night makes me one.

Having the same old toast for breakfast makes me one.

Repeating the same old exercise regime everyday makes me one.

Eating fruits for lunch makes me one.

Chatting under the stars makes me one.

Listening to “All I want for Christmas is you” makes me one.

But of course, sometimes, I do ask for more. Everyone is guilty of that right?

Then again, I do deserve some good-old pampering from time to time.

Now and then. 24 August, 2007

I kinda dislike going to school on fridays cos the weekends are coming and it time to party! But but but, today was a fairly interesting day at school. Saw things which took me by a big big surprise and in fact, wowed me(I’m going to start seeing some people from an entirely different perspective), and, learnt about things I can’t believe I never knew.

My sociology lecturer said, “So you come to NUS, find a girlfriend, graduate, find a job, get married, apply for a HDB, have children, work and die. In the past, students rally together with workers, get involved in politics and riots, speak their minds and held firmly to what they believe in, and even burnt buses. SO in comparision, you all are quite boring.”

That really tickled me, for that moment. Looking back, it’s true. It’s sad that as the society progresses, we, students, or as you like, young adults are just so pre-occupied in studies and mugging that we forget it’s a big big world out there. Haha, of cos, I ain’t speaking for the young adults in the same age as me, maybe I’m the only ignorant one to not be out there, not making a real difference (cliche as it sounds, I know).

 I don’t know if anyone feels the same way as me, but for me, I always been waiting for a big break, a big wow, something that really makes me feel “I’m really living!” but that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy my undergrad life now. School is good, but I’v always felt that besides school, there is something, something else that I can embark upon too.

As of now, I can’t exactly tell you what it is that would make me feel that way–maybe singing, or maybe fashion. Hmm, I don’t know.

Maybe you can tell me times have changed.

Incomplete. entry. 23 August, 2007

I was making my way home after a really heavy lecture (about Marxism, Enviromental Determinism, Possibilism, and a whole load that I can’t remember), and I realise something was not quite right. I was not quite myself.

In my mind, I kept recalling what I said, my words, your lost reaction. Over and over again. You were lost, not knowing where we are heading. And I was lost too. What was I suppose to say?

Maybe I should have talked about it long ago, instead of dropping an emotional bomb.

I should have thought about what I was about to say.

“It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, it’s compromise that moves us along”–I should have remembered that.

My heart is full and my door is always open, you can come anytime you want, just so you know.

I think the best I can say is– I’m sorry.

Mama Mia 23 August, 2007

Popped in Remy Martin Congnac Chocolates first thing in the morning.

Wad’s wrong with me?

As much as I love the chocolates, I have to say that chocolates and jogging doesn’t go. So never pop in alcoholic chocs before you go for your jog. They kinda rhyme, don’t they?

Hairspray 22 August, 2007

Need to watch something that would make you feel GOOD?

Go watch Hairspray!

Promise you loads of hearty laughter!

Great songs and dance moves! I’m so gonna get the soundtrack man.

For those who don’t know, it’s actually a broadway production. And seriously, it’s a feel-good musical (I love musicals!). I swear eveyone who was in the cinema was smiling. Even as we left the cinema, we looked around and saw people looking at the screen(very colourful scenes, even for the acknowledgments) smiling.

Click here for trailer.

And sadly, I realise that “No resevations”(I was told that as I was watching the trailer, I was smiling to myself! Can’t help! It’s so…)only opens on the 6th of Sep. Oh well, that leaves me for “Ratatouille” next week!

Thank god for blessing me with a wonderful movie partner!

Yes. I did. 20 August, 2007

So one day, when you finally realise I’m not there anymore.

No more words, no more concern, no more presence. Without warning.

Don’t panic.

You don’t have to.

Stop pushing me away.

Optimist or Pessimist? 17 August, 2007

With the many meet-ups this week, I realise many friends ask me one similar question, “Why aren’t you attached?”

Some look at me and said, “You’re quite attractive, but unattached?”

My response- I say “thank you” and flash my sweetest smile.

I thought about that question which many asked. And yes, I am single and available. I, on the other hand, is puzzled why others are so puzzled. Plus, how am I suppose to answer such a question? When it comes to love, I guess there ain’t no questions. Are there?

Many would think that I’m a girl with high expectations, blah blah blah. But the fact is, I guess at the end of the day, all those expectations were just, expectations. Yes, I am a die-hard romantic. But surprise surprise, I don’t need a guy who is romantic. Cos the romantic element is always there when you’re with the right person. Words from deep within being said to you, with the sincerity from his eyes-ain’t that romantic? To me, this form of romance is much more vital than just roses and chocolates. All I ask for is the heart, to love and feel, and the brain, to form his own sets of thinking. A deep, interllectual conversation with some light battering is quite sexy.

Then, I’ve got many telling me that I may have scare guys away with my confidence. Hmm, to think I thot I have the right amount of confidence to get me through what I have to. Plus, the many years I put into boosting my confidence level, I do believe I deserve all of it that I have. Haha, of cos, I ain’t no bra-burning feminist. I still do believe that men and women play different roles.

As I’m typing this entry, I got to thinking about the girls from Sex and the City. 3 of them were pessimist in love, while Charlotte was the only optimist-believing that one day, she would find the love of her life. But after her divorce, she feared that she lost her ability to love again, or she might have lost her chance of loving her “true love”. God, how sad is that. Ok, I know I side-tracked a little, but I thought that episode is interesting, cos Carrie was suppose to make a stand on whether she is a pessimist or optimist when it comes to love for her book.

So, am I a pessimist or optimist in love?

At 16, I always told my friends, “when it comes, it comes.”

At 20, I’ve officially changed my stand-It may come, but things aren’t as simple anymore. As we all grow older, wiser (hopefully), and more mature, we realise that even when it comes, it might not be yours, or we may not want it anymore. Is there a notion of “true love” out there?

And how sure are we about it?

Maybe I’ve learnt to protect myself too much, emotionally. Maybe that’s why I’m always cheering on others who are in love, and ironically pessimistic when faced with mine.

Maybe that’s why.

So it’s simple, don’t ask me why am I not attached- It ain’t a meat market, at least for me.

Don’t rally me to go out on dates- I need quality company.

Maybe I’m waiting for the day to say it’s been worth the wait.

So wad say you?- Am I an optimist or a pessimist when it comes to love? And you?

I know love can bring you emotions you’ve never felt before. But I’ve learnt to love, know how to love, even without falling in love romantically and I’m one contented, complete person as a single entity. More importantly, life has much more than just searching for the right one right?

As long as I’m happy with who and what I am now, who is to tell me what to do?

Gwen Stefani 15 August, 2007

 

Walked from Suntec to Indoor Stadium. enjoying the evening breeze and sunset

Everyone at the Indoor Stadium was so excited.

The lights went down and up came ”Sweet Escape”. I just love her live. The crowd was fun, the energy was high. Words can’t really describe how everything felt.

Sweet Escape, Wind it up, Hollaback girl, Rich Girl, Real thing, 4 in the morning, Cool, What are you waiting for, Hey baby and some more! Quite over-whelming.

She was really a great performer, running around, interacting with the audience. Wiht great dances! Salute to the Harajuku girls, and her band!

Just loved her “Real thing” live. Thumbs up up up!

I had one great evening, alone.

“Memories seems so long ago, time always kills the pain. I’ll be happy for you, if you can be happy for me. After all that we’ve been through, I know we’re cool”

Pearls with soya bean milk 13 August, 2007

Just realised that I’ve yet another fave drink- Soya bean milk with pearls, less sugar.

Yummy and it really fills me up. And I realise that I’m slowly falling in love with the pearls in the drink. I think it’s because my mouth needs to move-either talk, or chew! muhaha

Seems like many people are in a good mood today. When i was looking out for traffic before jay-walking, the man in the car smiled and allowed me to go first. And the doctor whom my aunt says is very quiet, talked quite a lot to me. After leaving the clinic, as I was walking down the streets, ramdom people smiled at me. Some times, when that happens, I’ll take my mirror out to make sure there isn’t anything funny on my face!

A timetable with no lessons on Monday, I truly know what a Monday-blue-less Monday feels like.

Gwen Stefani tomorrow!

interesting conversations with my mum 13 August, 2007

(looking at a man board the taxi with his luggage)

Me: Wow, I also want to go on a holiday!

Mum: You went for 3 holidays in a month! I haven’t even tried that before.

Me: Ok, ok. Next time, I bring you to 5 countries in a month.

Mum: Huh? Later you bring me to Malaysia.

Me: No! I bring you to Europe!

Mum: Wow, then one night in Paris and the next day you’ll bring me to somewhere else already ah!

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(looking at the Gatsby Moving Rubber broucher, looking at how I style my hair with it)

My younger sis: So since you bought the pink one, the gel inside is pink too?

Me: Ya, told you already.

Mum: So when you put on your hair, you hair becomes pink?

We almost fell off the chair.

My mum is quite funny huh!

Post Secret Sunday/ Irreplaceable? 12 August, 2007

There are 2 types of secrets:

1)The type you keep from the world,

2) the type you hide from yourself

-Frank-

Somehow, somewhere inside me, I’m really looking forward to going back to school! I think I love being a student- slacking thru, going to vivo, heading straight to Zara, endless gossips with different people, the late evening pracs, and of cos, people watching, borrowing of refererence like a mad woman, waiting for 10 and cursing and swearing cos it takes forever to come!

Soon, the 3 months holiday would be over. I’ve been a lucky girl to be able travel to 3 countries in a month, enjoying each trip and returning back safely. Being able to work at my old workplace, allowing me to go back, know some people better, shapening some social skills.

Geez, there were things I wanted to do, but obviously didn’t. An things I didn’t anticipate happening, which happened.I’m glad it happened. -)

I was shopping, plugging to my iPod, thinking about some stuff when ”irreplaceable” played-how apt. haha, so I smiled.

To the left, to the left. You got me twisted-I can have another you in a minute, so don’t you ever for a second think you’re irreplaceable…(I’m so gonna jog to with this song tml)

Let’s groove like Beyonce! Just be careful not to fall.

What if, What if, What if?

Geez, Why do they all say the same thing?

Food Escapade 11 August, 2007

Last evening, my mum, sisters and I went to Clarke Quay for a food escapade. We went to Liang Court’s Tampopo for their food! My younger sis was a bit too greedy-she tucked into the food before I had a chance to snap it!

Their egg, that goes along with the ramen.

Katsu Curry! See the little chili? Yummy yummy!

Next up, desserts at Tampopo. We didn’t have a chance to try their desserts! Next time! Next time!

Then we went to to Sun with Moon for their desserts.

Sweet potato Mont Blanc

Whiskey Bon Bon. I love Whiskey!

Inside the bon bon.

Hokkaido Ice-cream! Green tea with red bean, and cherry flavour. Thumbs up for the Green tea with red bean flavour. Look at my mum in the background.

Went to Gobi to have a look at their desserts. Look at them! Look at the macaroons! Looks like I’ve got desserts to try, as usual.

 And I’ll love to catch “No Reservations” by Catherine Zeta-Jones and the cartoon, “Ratatouille”!

They’re both about cooking! Yum!

Diamonds are a girl’s best friend 10 August, 2007

Have a look at Beyonce’s new ad for Emporio Armani’s new fragrance, “Dianmonds”

One word-Stunning!

Happy Birthday! 9 August, 2007

Happy Birthday Singapore! May you continue to prosper! And I love you!

I’m one satisfied gal.

Maybe it’s all in the mind? Maybe it’s because of wad I’ve done so far today.

Lemme see wad I did–Woke up, Breakfast consisting of toast with peanut butter. Tution with my super cute student who was confused with faction and asked me if I’m gonna enter NIE, can I go teach at her future secondary school to be her teacher. Went home, had durian, Indonesia mangoes, grapes, and honey dew for lunch. Took a nap, woke up, went for a jog, climbed the stairs, did some basic toning exercises. All in all, exercised for about 2 hours. Then had dinner, which consisted of veges, and durians! Again, I’m getting quite addicted to Durians, plus they seem to be always available in the fridge. Then had a cup of green tea, while readin Urban and what stylists have to say about Singaporeans. Kinda reminded me that I haven’t shopped for one and a half weeks. But then again, I don’t really have anything to buy. Called Waraku, Ma Maison to make reservations for tomorow’s dinner. And they were fully booked! Is everyone going out for dinner tomorrow? So we’re going to try Tampopo at Liang Court. Dinner on my mum, desserts on me!

Finally, I think I’m gonna be smiley again! Maybe slowly…

I was looking back at the mistakes I’ve made so far. Thought about the blog tags about me and my band. They were really bad. It did affected me of course, and now, it has been 4 months. I once thought about how I’m gonna back to the CCA, cos I really thought that I should just take the easy way out and leave. But after months of reflection, I realise I love singing, a lot more than that bad episode. Perhaps I did not handle the whole situation too well. Then again, we always mishandle situations, don’t we?

Time to put down all the emotional burdens I’ve been carrying-Some for years, some for months. No more just talking about letting go, putting down. It should be for real. And the process starts today. No more cheap talks, Jaslin.

And Miss P, I don’t know when would you be reading this entry. But I wanna let you know that the MSN message you left me when I was offline really touched me. I know it’s strange that I’m putting her message here, but I really feel that I should.  i guess it isnt strange how we’ve moved on from when we first met. felt kinda left out knowing there’s so many things i dont know thats happening to you,and wish i could have been there for you.i guess i just think we could be better friends than our strange friendship thats close yet distant,if you get what i mean.i just want to be a friend.not a passerby,and i really do feel like i could tell you anything.this is kinda weird,typing a msg like this.but well,just so you know, i love you just the way you are, coz we’re similar in some ways, and different in others. tell me whats been going on in your life in person,i like you, not your blog -Miss P-

When I was feeling like shit, she really made me feel that there’s someone out there, (whom I got to know during orientation week in NYJC and clicked immediately, laughing at private jokes, but only get to meet once a year from then on) who cares. Thank you.

I’m not the easiest person to love, I’m often the one who lets things go unresolved. I’m not too proud of somethings I’ve done in my life. I’m not the easiest person to love, but you opened you heart and showed me what I’m worth. The skeleton in my closet are too big for me to hide. Yet you choose to be, on the side of me. Cause everyone needs a friend to hold, when it’s cold outside and there’s no place to go. I remember when nobody cares, but you.  I really ain’t an easy person to get along with and love. I’m too cynical, too easily irritated, too straight-forward, too emotional, and the list goes on.

For those who spared a moment, thought of me, my words, sent me smses to let me know you care–Merci.

Samantha and Smith 8 August, 2007

My fave love story from SATC. Watching this always fills my eyes with tears, without fail.

Enjoy.

Soulmate 7 August, 2007

I entered the room and this song started playing. At first, I was amuse by the tune of he verse. But as I listened carefully to the lyrics, I realise it’s one sad song. At first, I laughed, but it’s not so funny nymore. Give it a listen, it’s worth the time. Trust me. Who knows, this song may touch your heart just like how it did to mine. 

I don’t love you.

Incompatible, it don’t matter though
‘cos someone’s bound to hear my cry
Speak out if you do
You’re not easy to find

Here we are again, circles never end
How do I find the perfect fit
There’s enough for everyone
But I’m still waiting in line

Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told

Men do cry 6 August, 2007

When tears flow, emotions set in. When men cry in front of me, because of me, I feel real lost. But deep down, I feel the warmth, that someone cares.

======================================

I don’t want to use you, just to have someone by my side. I don’t want to hate you and I don’t want to take you, cause I don’t want to be the one to cry. Like a fool, I keep seeing you walk through my door. Now, I can’t change you, and I don’t want to blame you. You don’t have to take the fall. Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you. Maybe I just want to have it all. That’s the danger of loving someone too much. It’s sad when you know it’s your heart you can’t trust. That’s the reason why I won’t stay where I am. Sometimes, Love just ain’t enough.

If I kissed you….

p.s. pardon me for these sad sad entries.

Have you 5 August, 2007

He wanted to ask. But was afraid to know. Or maybe he didn’t want to know anymore.

But then again, it doesn’t matter that much anymore. He thinks some words loses their magic.

——————————————————-

Sometimes, she wish that they would stop talking, so that it would be easier to forget and have distinctive emotions.

—————————————————–

I know the intentions, but I’ll continue pretending.

I love myself too much, that’s why.

Foodful Saturday 4 August, 2007

Handmade delicacies to help me through my day. These may look like 小笼包，but they aren’t. They have got bun-like skin and 小笼包 filling in them, in other words, bite into them and beautiful juices would ooze out into your mouth, leaving you deeply satisified. And I’ve to (re)mention that they’re handmade, not from any store man! When I received them, I was quite touched.

All the junk-comfort food on my bed. Sinful, it really makes a bad day a better one.

Geez. I made him cry. Shh.