A jumbled up mind 30 May, 2008

Since I’ve got more time off hand this vacation, I found myself getting uber stress about the release of exam results..since a week ago. It’s like everytime I think about the possibilites of my grades, my mind will automatically flashback to the moment when I was doing my paper and thereafter, imagine how it will feel to just push that magic “login” button on my very own lappie, in the comfort of my bed, to see the results. I often thought of going out of my bedroom to check my results. So that when I do badly, I will not relate the bad memories to my bedroom. The sense of place will change.. See, Geography matters.
And when I get stress over the results (hey, the mounting tension kills ok), I shop more. Yeah, now, I figured maybe it’s just an excuse I came up with to justify my otherwise, unjustifiable shopping. Just like how I think “retail theapy”is some kinda conspiracy theory that some marketing people came up with to sell more products. Cos seriously, when people are upset and succrumb to “retail therapy”, they very often realise they not only continue to feel horrible, but have also burnt a hole in their pockets.
More skirts, more stockings. So I guess next sem’s wardrobe will consist of quite a number of skirts. Which translates to more heels.
And, I sigh a lot more. I felt like I aged with every sigh, but they’re good stree relievers. A little, at least! My sister told me to “stop sighing” though. (Special thanks to Old Catman for the call, at 2am, to hear me sigh.)

And I’m glad it’s over. Let’s bid farewell to Year 2. A year with a pretty steep learning curve that was sometimes painful, very painful but awfully necessary. But it’s nice to think back, look at how far we all have come. Plus, I’m still trying very hard to be a good and disciplined undergrad who does her readings on time.

On a totally irrelevant sidenote, I was all dressed up, choosing which pair of shoes would go well with my outfit. And my dad said, “You going out like that?”
“That” being my grey stockings. Geez, that question made me check myself a few more times before I stepped out on to the streets.

And I know some can’t stand my incessant talk about Mr Sexy Sideburns, but I have to say, I thot I saw him yesterday night, at Clarke Quay. It was a mind trick though.
Just about the time the shadows call,
I undress my mind and dare you to follow.
Paint a portrait of my mystery,
Only close my eyes and you are here with me.
A nameless face to think I see,
To sit and watch the waves with me till they’re gone.
A heart I’d swear I’d recognize is made out of my own devices.
Could I be wrong?

I know, this is all jumbled up. That’s the state of my mind.

Psst. I think I’m happily unemployed-happily filling up my days with tanning sessions(I don’t tan my face cos it causes pre-mature aging. But anyway, these tanning sessions never work out cos of the crazy weather. Plus somehow, I look forward to going home whenever I step on to Sentosa. It makes me sleepy), tuition and sleep. Plus, we may start jamming in July!

Gossip 27 May, 2008

As we all know, Jaslin quit her job, just after 2 days at H’go boss. It’s such an irony, since she has been complaining that she’s jobless and then, when she gets a job (after interview and all), she decided to quit. She’s horrible, I know.

But I heard she realise that she couldn’t make herself work those crazy retails hours in which she worked when people worked, and continue to work, when people are shopping. But she still very mcuh love fashion (a little reward from her short job stint was to carry many many boxes of shoes, and to get to know a student doing Fashion) plus met some really nice people!

Jaslin is this fickle, undisciplined person, isn’t she? I bet she is. I mean, quitting after 2 days ain’t very acceptable..How far can you go in life when you can’t even stay at a job for 2 days?

Now, she spends her days waking up late, without the alarm clock, going for a jog close to noon, reading, and still trying to find more clothes online (while at the same time, matching them with those already in her wadrobe). As far as I understand, she has decided to remain unemployed for quite sometime (besides giving tuition) just to watch the world go by, sleep as much as she wants meet her friends more often, piss her pets (namely, Blackie the 8 years-old rabbit and Kittie, the 8 mths-old cat)off more frequently by talking to them, and bringing them to the park for a walk when the sun is still burning!

What a waste of life. But then again, it’s the holidays, so maybe you can cut her some slack?

I won’t be surprise if she suddenly tells me she just found a new job!

She’s crazy-I know. Maybe I should stop talking to her? Maybe you should stop talking to her too! She’s a bad girl. Some even told me she’s wild!

If I never see your face again, I don’t mind. Cause we have gone much further than I thought we’d get tonight.

If i never see your face again 24 May, 2008

The hottest collaboration, so far.

I saw the preppy-chic shirt and thot of you.

Till again.

Phew part 2 23 May, 2008

I just quit my job. Spare you all the details, for now. Cos I’m shagged and haven’t eaten since 9am.

Psst. I’m so ashamed for having quite a job just after 2 days!

Phew 21 May, 2008

Got myself a job, that would last till my trip to Hokkaido.

At H’go Boss. Which means, I have to wear the same thing everyday. 12 hours a day, no weekends to speak of.

But I’m happy, cos somewhere inside me tells me this is gonna be fun!

All things sexy 20 May, 2008

I’m going to sink into depression if I still continue to be unemployed.
Because my perks of the day have been reduced to being hinged on shopping.

Perk of the day-My package from Victoria’s secret is here. So I thot I can wear my sexy corset and man’s shirt!
Boo of the day-The corset and the shirt need to be sent to the tailor’s since they’re a bit big.
Perk of the day-Had a sexy VS tote included, incentive for spending like a mad woman during the exams. I like it, cos it reads, “Victoria’s Secret, The World’s Sexiest”.

I like all things sexy.

Did I just say that?
I need to be kept constructively occupied. I think this world is filled with crazy people, just don’t keep me involved(I know I’m crazy too, but not as crazy as them).

I’ve got me, myself and I.

Still Dirrty 19 May, 2008

There’s some women out there who talk and stare who never seem to let down their hair,
Like to past judgment, but they’re just scared.
And don’t know what they’re missing, so they better beware.
Cause I still got that nasty in me, still got that dirrty degree.
And if you want some more sexy, still got that freak in me.
Don’t tell me to behave cause I’ll never play that game.
Don’t tell me what to do cause I’ll never be uptight like you.
Don’t look at me that way cause I ain’t never gonna change.
And if you’re talking about my life, you’re only wasting your own time.

Trying to play by the rules is rough cause sooner or later something’s gonna erupt.

Postsecret Sunday 18 May, 2008

So please, learn how to do your dishes.

“With every goodbye, I feel relieved. My life begins again. I learned to love goodbyes.”

I feel like throwing up(ate and laughed too much over dinner).

Psst. I need a job–no more “No office job” policy anymore man.
PsstPsst. K Box soon, anyone? I need to sing!

Couture 18 May, 2008

I was kept up all night on Friday-thinking. About a High waisted animal print mini skirt. I was thinking about how I would match that skirt with a men’s shirt, 2-3 bottons undone, tucked in the mini skirt with white stiletto heel. Go easy on acessories though, we don’t really need them here. My gawd, won’t it be uber sexy?
It’ll up the sexy style notch man! I like animal prints–it’s difficult to match them because it can make you look like a streetwalker, or tarty, very easily. On the other hand, I think animal prints can be classy and sexy too. Of cos, no real fur please, I love animals way too much. Think the likes of Roberto Cavalli!

Yes, that can keep me excited all night.

And I just have to share this with you.

One of the sexiest songs from Beyonce! Plus, I love her dress and her hair. Yum.

Let’s count down to the opening of SaTC!

Time at hand 16 May, 2008

I’m staring into the immeasurable blackness that streches far beyond my closed eyelids. Though I lie still on the ground, I feel perched at the highest point I could possibly be; clutching at a sat in the night sky with my legs dangling above the cold black nothingness. I take one last look at my fingers wrapped abround the light and let go. Down I go, falling, then floating, then falling again, I wait for the land of my life.

My heart is the only part of me that cares, the only part that ever cared. It fights to pump the blood around to heal, to replace what I’m losing.

Rushing, Rushing, Rushing.
We are always rushing. Why do we bother rushing into things when we should slow down and enjoy the moments that fleet pass?

With time at hand, I sub-consciously create trouble for myself, more to think about, more to worry about. Then, attempt to clean up the emotion mess, which kills.

I would rather go to school than engage in part-time jobs that don’t fufil me. I would rather be alone than be at meaningless social engagements.
What irony…

People, watch. I strut. 15 May, 2008

With more time at hand, I have been indulging in people watching.

It’s beautiful to sit by Clarke Quay, look at people walking past, taking a look at what they are wearing, who they are with.

It’s amazing to look at how people eat their food. How the food gets cut into pieces(sexy to use hands too, depending on what they’re eating), they way it’s brought into the month, the way it’s being chewed, the pace of the eating. Speaking of which I get real stressed up when I’m eating with people who eat too fast. My sister said that people who don’t eat at a sociable pace are displaying their animalistic behaviour.

It’s fascinating to watch people people-watch, to look at which kind of people you look at, the intensity of the gaze.

When I walk alone, I plug into my iPod, play Beyonce, and try to imagine that I’m strutting down the runway. It’s fun–makes me fall in love with walking alone, all over again. But heels are a must, of cos.

I know I’m babbling–bcos there’s no school, my brain seem to be on a vacation as well.

Shh. 14 May, 2008

Watching the world go by in my room–Sitting on the bed, with a warm cup of drink, typing on my lappie, looking out at the beautiful morning despite the rain. I love mornings like that, no rush, no need to talk(I hate to talk in the morning, it’s the time I dedicate to myself. Which mean I pretty much shut the world out).

I like it when my home is quiet.

In a world where most things are in a clutter, having a peaceful and quiet home is vital for the sanity. It’s a hideaway, a nest, where one can hide from all the problems outside the door. At least in your home, you know you are in control. Unlike in life, you can allow whoever you want into your home, decide how long they should stay, which part of the home they should be at. Not like a heart, that invites people in without permission, hold them at special places that you never intended to place them in, worse still, makes you yearn for them to stay longer than they plan to.

I like it when the heart is quiet and in control.

Psst. Don’t talk to me only when you want something from me. Leave me alone.

The L word 11 May, 2008

“Of course she is stronger. She has been thru some major ordeals over the past year. Your breakup, a miscarriage, another pregnancy and a new career. Don’t you think it’s a good thing?”

“Of cos it’s a good thing. But it just means she doesn’t need me anymore.” –The L word, Season 2, Episode 9.

Emotional traumas either make or break you.

Once someone tries to break me, I’ll build a higher wall.

Maybe the wall is so high now, that I lost measurements?

Ok, maybe I can do with Mr Sexy Sideburns.

Speaking of which, I was walking along town the other day when I saw this familiar face in a immeculate suit amongst the Friday. This face smiled, and nodded.

No no, not Mr Sexy Sideburn. My coursemate actually.

Geez, for that moment, I was transported to 6 months back. Funny how some moments seem to get carved in your brain, and that every little thing will trigger of that moment of it.

That guy looked like he was rocking in suit, ready to impress the corporate world, while me? Eh, going shopping?

I so have to inject some ambitions in me.

A little Summer love song 8 May, 2008

Exams are over. Actually, I can’t wait for next sem to start! (should know why!)

I’m feeling …

I can almost smell Summer. (Note. I don’t feel Summer, despite the crazy heat. You have to got smell it!)

Exams ended just 9 hours ago. But I’m feeling I have too much time off my hands already. It’s like, I look at the clock, it was 8pm. After what I thought was quite a long time, I looked up again, it’s 8.10pm! Geez! Now that I don’t have to cram and have all the time in the world, time crawls.

Time is so relational–in exam halls, they pass before you know it.

I should:
1) Look for a job
I can’t stand days of having nothing to do. Social gatherings ain’t “things to do” you see. They’re part of your social life, but you still need something stimulate your brain. Plus, I need to build up my “shop in London” fund. Esther suggested that I should eat the the Fat Duck. I said, “Alone? Hmm, no, I can make reservations first, then just ask someone out then!” Reservations for the Fat Duck will have be wad, 2 months ahead? It’s gonna cost a bomb, but come on, since I’m there, then go! Plus, it will be fun to force myself to ask someone out. Haha.

So anyone with job vacancies, let me know! Jaslin can’t see herself doing office jobs.

2) Bake
Yes, haven’t baked for a long time. Let me think of what to bake lah.

3) Start looking for a venue
So anyone with a good venue to hold birthday parties, let me know! and I know this sounds radical, but I was thinking of holding it as a “all-girls” thing. Since those who know me best, are afterall the girls.

A tribute to them, I’ll say.
We’ll see.

Depends on the theme, if it’s Sexy pillow fight, I don’t guys will get what pillow fight is. And really, I hate explaining why the heading of my blog reads “Sexy pillow fight”. I always thought pillow fights are sexy and I don’t see why people think so. Maybe you should check out Victoria Secret’s website to have a better idea.

Maybe it’ll be Sexy Pillow fight the night leading to Breakfast at Tiffany’s the next morning.

Creative inputs, anyone?

Alright, I shall be off to wait for a very important phone call.

Psst. Bad flu now. It’s the norm for me to fall sick after exams.

Pocky! 7 May, 2008

I know I shouldn’t be here. I should be burying my ace in my Economic Geography textbook.

Anyway, I was.
And I was eating Pocky. My ultimate comfort food.

And I realise I really hate it when my pocky is broken. So when I open the box, the first thing I do is to check if there are any broken ones. And I’ll take them out, eat them first. That way, the remaining pocky would be pretty and I’ll be back feeling happy when I eat them.

I’ll go on a Pocky shopping spree in Hokkaido, I tell you.

I’m on “Commodity Chains”.
1) Every commodity should be seen as a bundle of social relations (Watt, 1999).
2) The gold windows of Tiffany’s in New York are linked to the gold windows in Lesotho (Hartwick, 1998).

I like Watt, since I used him in my debates but I like Hartwick better. Haha.

So where does your Pocky come from?

Put me in a book 6 May, 2008

4 papers down, 1 more to go.

It’s crazy how sharp the exam answer booklet can be. I accidently cut the side of my hand today while trying to write at a crazy speed. Bad. I bet Dr.S  will feel disgusted when she reads my script filled with blood–for over ten freaking pages.

On a side note, I was in front of the TV with Kittie and on came Jude Law..

“You stole my heart. So what am I suppose to do now? Call the police?”

How unromantic. I had the urge to tell Kittie to never say that to his girlfriend/s.

Seriously, too much romance literature(note: I don’t call them “Chick Lit” cos Ahern said it’s degrading) is bad. Makes you think that everything around you is “so-not-romantic”. Romance is relational–you compare and realise, chey, this is nothing!

I mean, you see, if that girl in the book gets the gardener with a Oxford degree, a farm in Cornwell, a hot bod (with sexy veins in his hands when he lifts things up). Then why not me?

I know. Cos she’s in the book, and I’m not.

It is somehow more romantic to read romance on a book than catch on TV(or whatever screens). Romance is suppose to be subtle, described and felt. Not shoved in your face like a microwaved meal.

Besides, I don’t buy into “oh-he-so-romantic” in reality, they’re after something, isn’t it?

Yeah, I’m getting old and cynical. Just bring me more Romance Literature. They’re harmless and I can get over one broken relationship in a minute (maybe less than that when my mind is pre-occupied). Plus, the men in there are always almost purrrfect!

Put me a book, a good one.

Psst. I looked at the green patch this evening, and can’t believe I sat there on the picnic map. You were there too. A long time ago.

Off to Economic Geography!

 

Postsecret Sundays/Monday Blues 5 May, 2008

 

Whenever people ask me why do I bother “dressing up” to school, I’ll say, “You never know who’s looking your way.” So don’t bother telling me to “dress down”.

Geez, as we get older, life gets harder. Now you know why I’m scared to realise that time is zooming past me. I’m happy to stay in school!

Haha, this one is cute. I’m sure she’ll find a man who ain’t intimidated by her intellegence. Studies have shown that intellegence does attract men. You just have to find out, who the rare gem is.

4 more days. I know I shouldn’t be counting down but I can’t help but think my sanity level is taking a nosedive, and my Obsessive Compulsive Behavoir ain’t doing any better. 

When I cram, I have got

I only use one brand of a particular series so that all my notes will look uniform.

Tell me I’m not anal.

 

Pseudo-Jaslin 4 May, 2008

I just told my mum that I’m going to hold my 21st at Macdonald’s. Bad joke–she took me for real and started telling me that everyone would bring their nephews and nieces instead.

Then, my brain went on to indulge on a string of crazy ideas, which I have offhand now. Note: It’s “crazy”.

1) (picking up from the conversation I had with my mum) I may be having a 21st with “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” as a theme.  Unique, isn’t it? To have a breakfast party. Bet some of you think it’s going to be a killer..we all know how difficult it is to wake up early on a weekend, dress up appropiately (and according to the theme). But then again, won’t it be fun? Plus, it’s a good way to kickstart a healthy lifestyle.  Ladies, get ready to bring out your classic LBD and those pearl necklaces!

2) Allow my hair to grow–till shoulder length or longer, with my current bangs. Which means, I have to have a tonne of determination off my back. Which I don’t think I have, when it comes to letting my hair grow.

3) Enrol into the Parson New School of Design. The main Parsons campus is located in Greenwich Village, New York City; its well-known Fashion department is located prominently in the heart of the city’s Garment District in midtown! I don’t mind being the oldest student there, in future! (Only if, I can draw. Did I mention that the human beings I draw looks like fishball on a stick?)

4) Work for a Fashion magazine(The likes of Elle and Vogue!) overseas. Nevermind how low the position is, as long as I can breathe and be exposed to Fashion!

5) Have a tattoo. A small black one. Of wad? Definately not someone else’s name (I think that’s crazy! I mean, I’ll freak out if anyone tattoos my name! I swear I leap off to the futhest continent. Unless of cos, I’m hopelessly, and stupidly in love), a heart, a rose or anything along that line(Erk!). Maybe my name, in another language. But my mum will freak out and so will everybody else, including myself(when everyone freaks out and go “Why Jaslin?”, “Was it pain?”, “Why this tattoo/why here?”).

Disclaimer: This is not really Jaslin typing. Ok, maybe it is. Maybe. I don’t know! It’s one of those moments in which she indulges in thinking about everything else but her exams.

So please, don’t freak out about that tattoo(I told Esther about it and she was really funny–she said, “A temporary one?” and I replied with a resounding “No!”. She looked at me for a while and then went, “Oh” ) because I think tattoos are dangerous. For one, they’re permanent (wad if your skin sags? the ink fades?) and more importantly, the society is constantly trying to label people. With a tattoo, I will probably propel the “she-is-a-wild-girl” impression to a higher level. Of which, I ain’t exactly keen to allow that to happen. 

Simply because, I’m just that girl who enjoys staying at home, talking to my cat and bunny, and typing random entries on her blog.

 

 

Wild horses 1 May, 2008

Baby, Wild horses couldn’t drag me away.

I know I dream you a sin and a lie. I have my freedom but I don’t have much time
Let’s do some living, before we die.
Childhood living is easy to do but it’ll never satisfy me.

Wild horses, we’ll ride them, someday.

It takes a lot of effort and pain to distant myself from the sinful indulgence and the unlying evil.

But I have done it once, and will do it again. Because it is necessary.

In life, you have to be devoid of emotions, sometimes. Or the negative emotions will eat you up, before the world does.

____________________________________

Release you inhibitions, not.

The internet is evil, isn’t it? It depreives me of Shopertainment (Pacione, 05), yet sucks me in and makes me spend loads. (Thats the prob when you get to see 100 dresses at one go and then click again, and see which bags looks stylist enough to keep you on the go)

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From my archive, dated 22nd December, 2007

It was a windy Friday as I was walking along the banks of Singapore River towards Cafe Iguana.

As I turn to my left, I saw a familiar face.

The familiar face with a cap, those sideburns and his usual black outfit.

For a moment, I was shocked.

My eyes, for some strange reasons, were focused on his lips.

I saw his lips curl up into a smile with a soundless “Hello”.

I smiled too, with a equally soundless “Hi”.

For the first time, we greeted each other.

Suddenly, the windy night became quite beautiful with a new friend made.

____________________________________

So where am I suppose to go from here?