All the love in the world. 30 September, 2008

Jaslin has a soft side, I think…

As she looked out to the bustling traffic, with an empty heart and a head full of task to complete, she found solace in this song..

I’m not looking for someone to talk to, I’ve got my friend, I’m more than O.K.
I’ve got more than a girl could wish for, I live my dreams but it’s not all they say.
I’ve often wondered if love’s an illusion, Just to get you through the loneliest days.
I can’t criticize it, I have no hestitaion.
My imagination just stole me away.

Love’s for a lifetime not for a moment so how could I throw it away?
I’m only human and nights grow colder with no-one to love me that way.

And i won’t wake up alone anymore, still believing you’ll walk through my door.
You’ll reach for me and I’ll know it’s for sure.
Then I’ll give all the love in the world.

I’ve got a secret–you’ve been keeping warm and nobody needs to know.

Psst. After looking at some videos by The Corrs, I realise I truly miss doing songs that delivers deeper emotions. I’m so not a qualified rocker, at all.

Postsecret Sunday/ Small small world 28 September, 2008

The world is too small for my comfort.
It’s like I’ve been scrutinized wherever I turn.

Lesson here. Keep your social circle small and make sure words don’t leak.
I’m sure my social circle is small enough.
But whether words leak? That, I’m not too sure.

No hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending. 27 September, 2008

 (credits to knowingescape)
Often a cynic, I have to admit that once in a little while,
a smile,
a photo,
a sentence,
a rush of impulse,
a moment of silence,

makes me realise that I maybe a silent cheerleader.
And that maybe, someday, somehow, I may be playing a role in a fairy tale?

Am I a true-blue cynic, or just putting on a facade?

Love is like cupcakes. You see them everywhere–it’s not difficult to get your fix when you think you need one at the moment (but very often, after sinking your teeth into it, you realise it’s not worth the calories)–but it’s difficult to find one that truly is worth eating.

Even if I tell the world, it would not be enough, for it was not said to you. Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing pavements?

Psst. But of cos, it’s still more difficult to find a perfect pair of shoes. Haha!

Metaphors 27 September, 2008

I was revising with my student..

Me: Alright, let me give you an example of a metaphor..
Student: Maneater!

Giving tuition can be very enriching.

First piece of Chanel 26 September, 2008

I promised to get myself a pair of Chanel sunglasses when I turn 21.
It has been 3 months, and I finally got done to finding a pair that’s
1) not over-the-top(read: doesn’t scream the double C),
2) doesn’t hit my fat cheeks and sits on my (low) nose bridge well enough,
3) takes my breath away.

My first piece of Chanel.

Psst. I’m consumed by consumerism (Tan, 2008)
Psst Psst. No pics–you’ll see them when you see me often enough, under the sun.

12.11am 24 September, 2008

A uber long day with a Chinese sociolinguistics project meeting, lunch, then off to Geylang and Orchard Towers for field research. (I so have to blog about the Geylang trip, esp our visit to the sex shop and the uncle who seem to have lots to share tho he claims he doesnt visit that area! But I’m too tired to.) I’m shagged.

Seriously, this recess week is out to kill me. It’s not helping when I woke up, and found myself in tears–cos I dreamt that I killed someone. What’s wrong with me? Who did I kill, exactly?

Lots to do, haven’t got enough time. When I look at the piling workload and the Chinese lit notes, I feel pangs of anxiety.

I need a new eye-candy. Yes, Jaslin gets bored after a freaking year. It’s time for a change.
Plus, when things gets stagnant, there’s no more adrenaline rush. Boo.

No more Sexy Sideburns lah.

Psst. Come to think about it, maybe the dream was to signify the death of Sideburns as a eyecandy?Then what are the tears for? Guess I’ll never know.

Postsecret Sunday 22 September, 2008

I venture. I panic. I regret.
And the cycle goes on.
And time after time, I tell myself “no venture, no gain”.

I hope I’ll never run dry on courage.

Nothing to lose 18 September, 2008

I left my waterbottle in the LT at Science today. With the intention to head back into the LT, I ran to the door and peeked into the hall. Since there was a lecture going on, I decided to leave(it’s rude to enter the LT in a midst of an ongoing class just to take something).

Somehow, I felt guilty for leaving my water bottle behind.

If I don’t have anything to begin with, then there’s nothing to lose.

Strawberries and Chocolate. 16 September, 2008

(from Flickr user stephbond)

I need some form of distraction.
It’s almost 2 in the morning and I can’t sleep–maybe the inherent fear of dreaming about the same person. (Read: Sideburns. And for the past 2 nights.) Or maybe the piling workload?

Maybe in a form of the oh-so-cliche, but at the same time, oh-so-good combi of chocolate and strawberries?

You tell me.
I should get back to bed, for the 3 hours of sleep before heading back to school.

Fashion Rocks 2008/ Postsecret Sunday 15 September, 2008

Once again, it’s time for 5th annual Fashion Rocks, held in New York. (Swarovski crystal-studded gowns put up a good show with Alicia Keys last year)
And this time, they brought some of the biggest names in the music industry to stand up to cancer.

Psst. Rihanna did Madonna’s cover of “Vogue“. I think the stage set up was pretty amazing. Strike a pose!

Psst. Notice the subtle changes!

2 days in bed. And the Morning-after. 13 September, 2008

After spending two full days in bed,
eating panadol(I’m allergic to almost everything else, even Penicillin),
sleeping my life away(dreaming that I was in this strange Fashion show),
not being able to talk,
using boxes of tissue paper(even Kittie sensed my flu bug from afar–he stood outside my rom, stared at me and didn’t dare to come in),
drowning down tonnes of barley water and herbal tea,
I’m finally better. (Special thanks to special friend who provided me with perk-me-ups via sms-es)

And so, I started the rainy Saturday at 5am.
Going for a little walk around the park, to finally breathe the fresh air and flex some muscles.
Afterwhich, I had a breakfast date with the lady who baby-sitted me when I was young. I tried to search for the many faces in the crowded market, but could not recognise a single face. Luckily my mum was with me. It’s pretty surreal to meet someone after 19 years. It’s a long time. Just then, I found it hard to imagine myself meeting my friend/s whom I haven’t met for 19 years, when I’m 40. 19 years seems to be a long time. Of cos, it is now. But like one of my professors said, “As you grow older, you’ll realise some decades are longer than the others. While others seem so short.”

And after two days in bed, it was good being able to be out and about (with a bad throat ).
To feel the sun, the crowd, the pushings and the squeezings in the crowd-infested Orchard road.
It felt like I needed to buy so many things.
The sketch book.
The tracing paper.
The colour pencils.
The granite pencil.
The “Figure drawing for Fashion Design” book.
The Guess watch with the leopard print face.
The Magnifique from Lancome. (Which I contemplated for quite some time–I liked the woody note, but not the fact that it was a best seller. So when the SA told me it was selling well, I blurted out, “But won’t I be smelling like everyone else then?”…Nevertheless, I found that scent very sexy. A close fight with Coco Mademoiselle, I would say. Not sickeningly sweet, I like it when there’s a tinge of masculinity, or so I think.)
The Lancome eyeshadow in Strass Black (I love examining the names of eyeshadows. Estee Lauder has taken a likening to name their colours after food–Sugar Cube, Tea Biscuit, Cinnamon, Mocha cup and Plum pop! Yummy!)
and “Remember me?” by Sophie Kinesella.

And so I did.

I think I went crazy. (My mum was with me–and if she nods her head, I’m assured it’s a good buy)

And, I’ve finally decided that it’s empty talk to keep saying I wanna do Fashion.

I’m going to draw. After I’m done with tutorials.

That thought made my heart beat real fast. It felt like I’ve just met …

P.s. 3 nights ago, it was raining real heavily and the 4-month old kitten who resides at the void deck couldn’t stop crying. Surprise surprise, we opened the door, just to kind Kittie and the little kitten outside my door, allowing the kitten to eat his food and sleep on his bed. I think it’s sweet to know that even cats know how to take care of each other. We all need to know how to give a littl loving sometimes. And you’ll never know how much difference it would make, as cliche as it would sound.

Keep getting better 12 September, 2008

Step back, gonna come at you fast. I’m driving out of control and getting ready to crash.
Won’t stop shaking up what I can, I serve it up in a shot so suck it down like a man.

So baby yes i know what i am and no i don’t give a damn. You’ll be lovin it.

When I strap on my boots and slip on my suit, you see the vixen in me becomes an angel for you.
There’s a villain in me–So sexy, sour and sweet and you’ll be loving it.

Some days I’m a Super Bitch up to my old tricks but it won’t last forever.
Next day I’m your Super Girl out to save the world and it keeps getting better.

11.26 10 September, 2008

“…
I went with little hope of finding any trace of his presence, just to visit perhaps the ground where he had lived and worked. Exiting the train station, the area was precisely as I had been warned it would be–glass facades adorning recently built concrete and steel. Passin the rising street numbers–32 Walker, 46 Walker–I expected little. At the 88 Walker Steet I saw the old North Syndeny Fire Station,built in 1985, which is now a Malaysian restaurant. The building was intact, however, witht he date marking its presence through the years the fire station almost every day, and as I stoppoed to touch the walkk that he may have touched, I felt a little closer to the ground upon which he had stood. After fifty feet down the road, a noew office bulding occupied 100 Walker Street. It had clearly replaced half a block of existing buildings. A sign announced that a Methodist Church had stood there from 1931 until 1970. Had the church replced his grocery store? Or had it arose next to it? A bank machine stood near the enterance to 100 Walker Street, and since I needed money to get to the airport, I went to make a withrawal. As twenty dollars slipped out, I was strucked that this money came to me from the hollowed ground. Staring at the orange Australian bill in my hand, I suddenly became convinced that I needed to make an offereing of some kind. There was a small plot of ornamental bushed in front of the building, a patch of green adminst the grey concrete. Taking the last dollar in my pocket, I dropped it into the bushes as an offering and bowed my head three times in respect.

My mother explained on the phone later in the week that when she told my grandmother that I had visited the site of her father’s store, and that I had made an offering before leaving, my grandmother began to quietly cry.

To my mother, the silent tears meant many things–that my grandmother was relieved that I had gone in her stead, that she could now be at peace. Perhaps, my mother speculated, my grandmother also felt at peace that she herself would be remebered, that my pilgrimage signaled future rememberances when she herself was gone.

My mother also believed that there were ties that only people who have known them can understand, that sometimes people are connected. A daughter understands her mother’s tears.

….”

– Excerpt from “Writing the Past in the Present”,by Henry Yu. Found in Amerasia Journal 28:3 (2002)

As I read this in the train, I found my tears rolling down my face. Unexpectedly.
As I read it the second, the third time, I can still feel that pangs of emotions.
My first Geography reading which tugged my heartstrings.

Maybe it’s the flu,
Maybe the people who come and go..

Beauty does not come with perfection, but with flaws and pain.
Cry for life is sad. Smile for it is still beautiful.

Postsecret Sunday/ Live high 8 September, 2008

With the mundane rhythm of school setting in, I found myself happy with the copy of Vogue in my hand.

My first copy. It was exhilerating to flip thru the magazine of 800 pages. (A big plus for the beautifully designed cards that were slot in between to encourage readers to suscribe to them. Read: they don’t just print their form on a random page, they print cards! I found 4! And they’re all of different designs!)
Of which, half were ads (spare me the talks about Consumerism. Esp coming from those with an elevated sense of themselves. Tsk Tsk. Seriously, when I see people who critisize guys who bothers donning on cufflinks, I think it’s a reflection of one’s insecurities for the lack of style.) Ads that were so intricate. So much so that it took me some time to absorb the aesthetics. (I was happy when I saw the pieces I picked out, which includes Bottega Veneta and Ralph Lauren, to post on here were the pieces chosen for their ads as well. Oh, and I just have to say that lace is in vogue this Fall-Chanel and Prade having the best pieces. Plus Kudos to Nordstrom for adding a classic Chanel 2.55 in their ads.)

Hopefully, I will feel the same in years to come.
That I will not be shakened by what the others have to say.

It may be a dream deemed as unpractical.
So hopefully I stand by my priorites.

Hopefully, I won’t be the one who lives life just to go thru the motions and to live up the expectations of others.
Hopefully, there won’t be a day that I find myself settling for less.

Just take it easy and celebrate the malleable reality.
Nothing is ever as it seems.
This life is but a dream.
Live high, Live mighty, Live righteously.

P.s. The sneak preview of Candace Bushnell’s “One Fifth Avenue” looks promising. Can’t wait for it to hit the stores.

Mercy on me 5 September, 2008

(credits to angel… )
I must confess, that in all my loneliness,
I’ve forsaken and I’ve sinned, leaving fragments of a man so broken.
I could tell you what I’ve done or should I tell you where I went wrong?

Well the more that I start to play,
my deceitful, evil ways keep on growing stronger by the day.

In my weakness, I’ve lost faith.
I’ve been careless, and I have been warned.
And the devil inside me is torn.
God bless the men that I have scorned.

So don’t let me fool around no more,
Send your angels down to guide me through that door.
Well I’ve gone and confessed my regrets, and I pray I’m not held in contempt.
I’m so lost, and I need you to help me repent.

Oh lord have mercy on my soul for I have walked a sinful road.
So I’m gonna get down on my knees.
Beg forgiveness to help set me free.
Lord have mercy on me, please.

=) 1 September, 2008

 credits to simplefreak

Walking along the ever-so crowded corridors in the Arts can be an art. When you see that familiar face, you can
1) Pretend you see no one, just keep walking;
2) Greet, dramatically. No half-heartedness allowed. Go up, say hi, make your presence known.

From the side of my eye, the contours of your face, I realise yesterday was a mistake. One caused by fatal withdrawal.
I’m not a happy face. I’m a smiley face.

I’m tired, not happy. Burnt but smiley.