When asked about you, I don’t feel what I felt anymore.
Falling in, out and down. With more than one, as I have to sheepishly admit.
Perhaps, I finally found the avenue to to an open heart.
After all these years.
Psst. I still find myself chronically addicted to “slow dancing in a burning room”, in 3 different versions, mind you!
Life works in funny ways. And as much as I would hope for a better alternative, 22 years of life has taught me to make lemonades when life gives you lemon.
Lemonade, anyone?
Or perhaps, Limoncello would be good!
Back from Sarawak. Proud to have been part of the mountain climbings, jungle hikes, the stay at the Iban Longhouse, the star-gazing in the wilderness, sitting on the groundsheet looking up till our necks strained, and the lantern-burning/dropping experience along the waterfront in Kuching.
And I’ve to say I’m one smiley face.
No more hard feelings, no more resentment.
I’m only left with getting rid of the little moments of uneasiness that surfaces once in a while. Somehow, perhaps with the blessing of the shooting star I silently watched, my little dream came true.
It’s good to be away, to realise how beautiful my world can be without you.
Now, I can finally say, I’ve stopped slow dancing in the burning room.
As I’m packing for Sarawak, I realised I miss those days in Lufbra. The days of the backpack, over-nighters and I.
The days of threading on streets of breath-taking cities.
The crazy-long rides– the most memorable one would have to be the crazy river-taxi ride in Venice.
I miss Europe. And I will be back.
I had a dream. Which I almost thought was real.
It was simple, just having you ask me something mundane.
You see, it’s not the question you ask.
It’s the act of asking.
Hello stranger,
Being brutally honest, we were just using each other in different ways, but were too poilte to acknowledge it.
“We spend our 20s making mistakes, and our 30s unmaking them..”
In 9 months, I’ve chalked 2 major mistakes. I’ve to sheepishly admit that the first mistake led me to the second. And I shouldn’t wait any longer to undo them.
Parallel lives, is what we should work towards.
x
(credits to candysore)
I’m not suppose to.
But as usual, I’m a rebel at heart.
So pardon me, while I indulge.
While I gush and marvel.
At you.
For being so diverse, intriguing, and for allowing me to see a faint mirror of myself.
It has been so long, and I can’t believe I’m still at ground zero. Talk to me about being commited, I dare say I emerge as the champion for being so commited to the sight I set upon.
We need to move, even if it’s just an inch. And perhaps, save me from myself. For time is running out.
To my friend, who ended her email with,
“love you though i don’t say it much”
You’ll see the greater things you deserve.
I’m positive.
I’ve been trying to do my assigments before I leave for Sarawak, and somehow, though I’m 5 weeks into school, I find it a little difficult to frame my thoughts into words. There seem to be this constant fear of not answering the question, or of being incoherent.
I plug into my ipod, and I realise that instead of doing my work, I’m subconciously listening (pretty intently) to the music.
…and the problem is, I can’t work well when it’s too quiet either. The deafening silence distracts me too…I know, I’m really hard to please at times.
But finally, I found the purrfect audio company– make-up tutorials on youtube. Yes, I hear them, not listen to them. And that’s the vital difference it makes.
Back to feeling restless. It feels like something is bugging me, and yet, I’m unable to put a finger to it. To make things easier, I seem to feel justify the feeling of unsettledness with the little mundane things around me.
But deep down, I know it’s not the loud noise from the television, not the hot weather, not the piling readings, not my struggling attempt to comprehend “the political economy” that is causing me to feel this way. Ironically, I don’t know what it.
Perhaps, someone/thing just has to take the blame to justify me feeling this way.
Dang.
Here I am, preparing for school after 3 hours of sleep.
I’m beyond tired.
And somehow, I revel in it. Being busy helps me realise that emotions are not independent of my workload.
The busier I am, the more it keeps me away from the negative.
I can do with more sleep though.
I had to source out for clothes to wear in Sarawak, since the lecturer specifically said, “no fashion piece… long pants, t-shirts…”
That meant one thing– I had to buy them.
So off I went to Orchard with my younger sister (who knows where the best bargins are) to get 3 pairs of skinnies in psychedelic colours, and 4 t-shirts, plus, a pair of sneakers (people who knows me well enough will understand why that’s something refreshingly new)..
Since I’ve been in the UK, scissors and safety pins have been my best friends. So armed with a pair of scissors, I went snapping off the necklines, making them mine.
Like Alexander Wang said, “Anyone can get all drssd up and glamourous, but it is how people drss on their days off that is the most intriguing.”
I agree.
Even as I venture out into the wilderness where no one may give a care about “fashion pieces”, I don’t think that is the crux of the issue. For I think giving yourself the excuse that no one is going to look at you is going to make us pretty complacent in the fashion department.
That, for me, is a no-go.
With my running nose,
I woke up itching quite badly for a tattoo.
Or a nose-piercing.
I’ll negotiate with myself and head out for either.
Life is suppose to be spontaneous, right.
(Credits to ~saruwatari-asuka)
I don’t have to please the world, really.
Just me, myself and I.
Somehow, I’m back to ground zero, with more memories, a little more cynicism, a little less trust. And I’ll be here for a while, or perhaps, for a very long time. I don’t know, but I guess that’s what makes life exciting.
Leaving for Sarawak in 2 weeks..
..for Geography brings you to places.
Somedays, I look at The Satorialist and feel uninspired, as if his pictures are threading on being a little predictable… but after reading this, a new perspective is gained.
From The Sartorialist (dated 29th Aug 2009)
This month Glamour magazine ran this photograph which has created quite a stir here in the US.
It seems women desperately want more images that highlight the variety of beauty that the female form has to offer. If that is true, then this should become one of the biggest selling issues in Conde Nast history.
Actually it just might become the biggest seller. When we wanted to do a post about this Tracy went to three different shops to find the magazine but all three were sold out. We had to scan this from the NY Post.
When I am shooting on the street older women and larger size women often say “no” to my request to shoot them. Actually, much more than any other category of people I shoot. I think they have a real suspicion about how the image will be used. I also think there continues to be a growing disconnect between the fashion community and “average” women in general
However, do you think that this economic crisis has forced the fashion community to open it’s eyes a little bit to what the customers want?
 | MYS on Some 1000 Awesome things |
| MYS on Mind over body |
 | papersky on Supermassive black hole |
| papersky on 11.02 |
 | shujun on Late late night musings. |
