Optimist or Pessimist?

With the many meet-ups this week, I realise many friends ask me one similar question, “Why aren’t you attached?”

Some look at me and said, “You’re quite attractive, but unattached?”

My response- I say “thank you” and flash my sweetest smile.

I thought about that question which many asked. And yes, I am single and available. I, on the other hand, is puzzled why others are so puzzled. Plus, how am I suppose to answer such a question? When it comes to love, I guess there ain’t no questions. Are there?

Many would think that I’m a girl with high expectations, blah blah blah. But the fact is, I guess at the end of the day, all those expectations were just, expectations. Yes, I am a die-hard romantic. But surprise surprise, I don’t need a guy who is romantic. Cos the romantic element is always there when you’re with the right person. Words from deep within being said to you, with the sincerity from his eyes-ain’t that romantic? To me, this form of romance is much more vital than just roses and chocolates. All I ask for is the heart, to love and feel, and the brain, to form his own sets of thinking. A deep, interllectual conversation with some light battering is quite sexy.

Then, I’ve got many telling me that I may have scare guys away with my confidence. Hmm, to think I thot I have the right amount of confidence to get me through what I have to. Plus, the many years I put into boosting my confidence level, I do believe I deserve all of it that I have. Haha, of cos, I ain’t no bra-burning feminist. I still do believe that men and women play different roles.

As I’m typing this entry, I got to thinking about the girls from Sex and the City. 3 of them were pessimist in love, while Charlotte was the only optimist-believing that one day, she would find the love of her life. But after her divorce, she feared that she lost her ability to love again, or she might have lost her chance of loving her “true love”. God, how sad is that. Ok, I know I side-tracked a little, but I thought that episode is interesting, cos Carrie was suppose to make a stand on whether she is a pessimist or optimist when it comes to love for her book.

So, am I a pessimist or optimist in love?

At 16, I always told my friends, “when it comes, it comes.”

At 20, I’ve officially changed my stand-It may come, but things aren’t as simple anymore. As we all grow older, wiser (hopefully), and more mature, we realise that even when it comes, it might not be yours, or we may not want it anymore. Is there a notion of “true love” out there?

And how sure are we about it?

Maybe I’ve learnt to protect myself too much, emotionally. Maybe that’s why I’m always cheering on others who are in love, and ironically pessimistic when faced with mine.

Maybe that’s why.

So it’s simple, don’t ask me why am I not attached- It ain’t a meat market, at least for me.

Don’t rally me to go out on dates- I need quality company.

Maybe I’m waiting for the day to say it’s been worth the wait.

So wad say you?- Am I an optimist or a pessimist when it comes to love? And you?

I know love can bring you emotions you’ve never felt before. But I’ve learnt to love, know how to love, even without falling in love romantically and I’m one contented, complete person as a single entity. More importantly, life has much more than just searching for the right one right?

As long as I’m happy with who and what I am now, who is to tell me what to do?


7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Reen
    Aug 18, 2007 @ 02:51:58

    Lol Jas. I dont know if u can really qualify such stuff. I think most people are optimistic, as in they hope for the love of their life. But life aint perfect as it is, so doubts oacssionally flood in, and people might end up becoming a whee bit pesstimistic. Errr. I think. =p

  2. jaslin
    Aug 18, 2007 @ 09:53:56

    Haha, I do agree that when life gets the better of you, you get pessimistic. But I guess inside us, we either do/do not prescribe to the notion of “true love”, or the “one and only”. And for me, that’s what differientiates the pessimist from the optimist.

  3. papersky
    Aug 18, 2007 @ 13:13:57

    kudos to jas!
    love can do many things, but what i most dislike abt it is that it can bring about a huge fall in self-confidence.
    *shakes head*

  4. Ms blogreader
    Aug 18, 2007 @ 22:48:24

    Hey,I’m just a blogreader who found ur blog thru links.

    Someone once told me tt we’re similar in a way,
    and I didn’t believe tt, but readin this, I kinda see some truth in it. Haha~

    It’s like,
    wat’s the point in tryin when deep down u noe tt it’s not worth it?
    wat’s the point in puttin in the effort when deep down u noe tt it ain’t gonna work anyway?

    It’s not the high expectations tt holds u back.
    It’s the clarity in wat ur seeking.
    Bcos u noe exactly wat u want, tt u don’t c a need to try when wat’s available falls short.
    It’s the belief in givin the best, 100% to the right, worthy partner.

    I don’t think ur a pessimist.
    A perfectionist maybe?
    Or just a very cautious girl with potentially alot to offer. N u know it. Hence the uncompromising attitude.

    Anyway, that’s just my thought 🙂
    Have a gr8 evening,
    and thx 4 the post!

    Oh, and just out of curiosity,
    have u ever regretted any of the choices u’ve made?
    Any rejections tt u wished u cld retract?

  5. jaslin
    Aug 19, 2007 @ 09:49:24

    Hi! Thanks for reading my blog. It’s good to know that someone thinks the same way as I do. And I have to say that though I don’t know you, you seem to be able to read me like a book!

    I guess I haven’t regretted any choices that I’ve made so far. Except for the fact that I can be quite emotional when it comes to handling certain situations at times. Hence, when I look back, I really do believe that I should have handled them better.

    And nope, I haven’t outwadly rejected anyone. So I haven’t had a chance to regret any rejections I’ve made.

    And have you got a blog? It would be great to know another friend! Or you can add me on MSN at measure_of_a_lady@hotmail.com

    Hope to hear from you soon! =)

  6. Gracey
    Aug 19, 2007 @ 16:44:33

    Yup, i remembered that at 16, u told us when it comes it comes.. Today, it’s no longer when it comes it comes.. When it comes, one may feel not ready to accept.. Watched 881 ytd, and the crew made a sentence abt waiting, wait and it will come one day.. Hope that it’s worth the wait at the end of the day and that it is what we want and it is ours after all =)

  7. wenqi
    Aug 20, 2007 @ 23:19:13

    i believe the saying that love will find its own way to you.

    takecare! 🙂

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