A jumbled up mind

Since I’ve got more time off hand this vacation, I found myself getting uber stress about the release of exam results..since a week ago. It’s like everytime I think about the possibilites of my grades, my mind will automatically flashback to the moment when I was doing my paper and thereafter, imagine how it will feel to just push that magic “login” button on my very own lappie, in the comfort of my bed, to see the results. I often thought of going out of my bedroom to check my results. So that when I do badly, I will not relate the bad memories to my bedroom. The sense of place will change.. See, Geography matters.
And when I get stress over the results (hey, the mounting tension kills ok), I shop more. Yeah, now, I figured maybe it’s just an excuse I came up with to justify my otherwise, unjustifiable shopping. Just like how I think “retail theapy”is some kinda conspiracy theory that some marketing people came up with to sell more products. Cos seriously, when people are upset and succrumb to “retail therapy”, they very often realise they not only continue to feel horrible, but have also burnt a hole in their pockets.
More skirts, more stockings. So I guess next sem’s wardrobe will consist of quite a number of skirts. Which translates to more heels.
And, I sigh a lot more. I felt like I aged with every sigh, but they’re good stree relievers. A little, at least! My sister told me to “stop sighing” though. (Special thanks to Old Catman for the call, at 2am, to hear me sigh.)

And I’m glad it’s over. Let’s bid farewell to Year 2. A year with a pretty steep learning curve that was sometimes painful, very painful but awfully necessary. But it’s nice to think back, look at how far we all have come. Plus, I’m still trying very hard to be a good and disciplined undergrad who does her readings on time.

On a totally irrelevant sidenote, I was all dressed up, choosing which pair of shoes would go well with my outfit. And my dad said, “You going out like that?”
“That” being my grey stockings. Geez, that question made me check myself a few more times before I stepped out on to the streets.

And I know some can’t stand my incessant talk about Mr Sexy Sideburns, but I have to say, I thot I saw him yesterday night, at Clarke Quay. It was a mind trick though.
Just about the time the shadows call,
I undress my mind and dare you to follow.
Paint a portrait of my mystery,
Only close my eyes and you are here with me.
A nameless face to think I see,
To sit and watch the waves with me till they’re gone.
A heart I’d swear I’d recognize is made out of my own devices.
Could I be wrong?

I know, this is all jumbled up. That’s the state of my mind.

Psst. I think I’m happily unemployed-happily filling up my days with tanning sessions(I don’t tan my face cos it causes pre-mature aging. But anyway, these tanning sessions never work out cos of the crazy weather. Plus somehow, I look forward to going home whenever I step on to Sentosa. It makes me sleepy), tuition and sleep. Plus, we may start jamming in July!


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. papersky
    May 31, 2008 @ 22:16:35

    heys darling! *hugs*

  2. Jaslin
    Jun 02, 2008 @ 00:46:40

    Hello! =)

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