As the clock skips

I’ve set my clock to an hour earlier, from Greenwich Mean Time to British Summer Time. So now, I will be 7 hours behind home.
The room is quiet, and so is Lufbra, for my roomie has left for Ireland, and the rest have gone back home for Easter.
Somehow, it feels strange that I’m halfway thru my semester in Lufbra, 4 days to Italy, 3 weeks to Amsterdam.

Laying in bed, watching “My Best Friend’s Wedding”, whilst browsing through recipes to prepare for tomorrow’s international dinner with the other exchange students…i think i should go with deviled eggs, since it’s going to be easter soon!

I miss home, not homesick. But I’m positive I miss home. I miss being able to talk to people I love face to face, being able to hear their voices. It’s somehow very different to communicate thru emails and all. Ironically, at the same time, I’m getting use to settling in, in this place which I regarded as the unfamiliar just mere 8 weeks ago– Dinner parties, laughing at the drunkards in the clubs, exchanging fashion advice. Undoubtedly, friendships have been formed (I even loaned 2 pairs of shoes out this Spring.. and I guess it’s worth it ..afterall, I loaned them out cos the gals needed good stilettoes to watch Moulin Rouge in Paris. Ok, I digressed..as usual..)
But this feeling is pretty surreal. I feel that I’m drifting away from my familiar surroundings, and at the same time, getting closer to the unfamiliar…neither here nor there. Sometimes, I ask myself where I belong..

Almost 9 weeks in the UK, and I’m thankful…

Psst. I’m really tired, but I insist on finishing the movie.. guess I’m that stubborn.

“If you love someone, you say it. You say it, right then, out loud. Otherwise, the moment just passes you by..” — My Best Friend’s Wedding.

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. MR Q
    Mar 29, 2009 @ 16:10:37

    welcome to the liminal space of being neither at home, nor an alien. well make full use of it to be crazy k, otherwise next time there will be a lot of baggage if u wan b crazy in sg

    are u travelling alone? must becareful k…

    for the last bit. if i like someone and say it out, that is v risky business. could even lose a friend. so would u chose to release urself n live a life of no regrets, or reveal and lose a fren? sticky. maybe then addiction is a form of sweet torture? at least u hold on to the right of fantasizing and loving clandestinely that special someone. overt and explicit advances erode the (imagined ) ambience of romanticism…

    pls rest well ok. i miss u frm sg. i hope u can feel intensely my emotions thru the blog.

  2. Jaslin
    Mar 29, 2009 @ 18:02:18

    Haha, that’s true–make full use of being crazy. that’s why i’m trying to be more advanterous in terms of fashion..and then get back to SG and still cont being crazy.. we’re all way too boring back at home! but feeling neither here nor there finds me asking myself “where then, do i belong?” but it’s good, cos i truly understand how migrants and transnational workers feel..

    dont worry, i’m travelling with my sis and her friends to italy and to amsterdam with my good friend!

    oh yes, if u like someone and just say it out, it’s dangerous! that’s why i put the quote there..cos someone out there who chance upon this blog, or reads this blog, might need this ounce of courage. interestingly, the movie circles around not being able to “say it out”..i dont like julia roberts tho.. errrr…

    u rest well la! i’ve been resting so much here..sleep sleep sleep. u take good care!

  3. MR Q
    Mar 30, 2009 @ 01:05:37

    i think it is cool being able to engage in liminality in liminal and paradoxical spaces. we are all (ok i mean me) too prudish, too uptight, to anxious abt notions of (im)propriety…

    that sounds like a real (ad)vent(ure)! amsterdam lei! can window shop for humans.

    glad tt u have got rest. for me, its 1 am and i am still awake. i am writing tis transgender tourism essay lei but i think i am writing crap! help. remember i say i am alw constipated when it comes to writing? i think i still am and i need some laxatives. hint hint hints. HINTS. oh man i am so unabashedly forward in my demand for help.

    courage. i think my tank is empty of that, and empty of love. because the only person to deposit love units in my love bank account which is u, is half a globe away. i need to be emancipated. from work, social demands, family stressors etc. i want to be like u!

    i wont ask where am i, like u hinted at. i will ask who am i. if my identity is an enigma, my body without an ontological core (ie there is no natural body, all bodies are already inscribed with culture. this is what happens when i have just submitted by tattoo project craps). i am in a state of identity crisis. oh well, but i guess not all crisises are bad.

    oh shit now u know how screwed my brain is shooting crazy stuff here at freaky 1am.

    =)

  4. MYS
    Mar 30, 2009 @ 08:13:09

    Hey gal! ๐Ÿ™‚ I know that feeling…it’s kinda weird cos you know there’s an end in sight to this temp place…you want to feel “home” but not too settled in that you’ll miss it when you return to the old and familiar. It’s been 1 year here and I try my best to keep things as simple as possible, don’t want to have too much baggage when I leave…I’ll leave the same way as I came….

    Oh it’s great that you’ll have a break and get to travel with your sisters! Take loads of pics and try as many new things as possible ya? One day…we’ll head out for a trip together k?

    That quote is a great motivation to get out there and say it but there’s that bit that holds us back and that bit is fear. The fear of losing the feeling, thought and person is far too great to say it when you feel it. Yup like what Mr Q says…it’s sticky business.

    P.S. Thanks for being such a great editor! Loves! :*

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