4 in the morning

4.18am.

My world is quiet. And for the longest time, my mind became clear again, as my emotions go to sleep.
Somehow, the mind decided the emotions should be cast aside– as a form of punishment for overworking itself recently.

I know I have a tendency to push people away, and it’s hard for me to allow my wall(s) to collapse. That’s how I work. For the past few days, I felt a little too lost for comfort. Too lost to be happy.
Then, I realised I need assurance, and all things definite.

I think.
As my mind says, go easy on the emotions.

You know, I’m always here. Here at ground zero. Waiting.
The mind knows the wait is futile. But it provides me with the safe distance I need, to prevent the emotions from going out of control.

I need to be in control. And that’s why I’m aloof (on the outside).

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