I wonder

I lie in bed, and wonder.

Honey, I’m home

Yep, I’m home.

Was suppose to be back on Friday, but I missed my flight back due to the massive jam on M25. I was so traumatised! For the 5 months in UK, I’ve never missed a bus, a train or budget plane… and just then, on my last day in UK, I missed my flight back home.

Because I missed my flight back home, I realised the friends I made in Lufbra are truly friends I can count on– from phone calls, to sms-es to accompany me through while I was waiting for the next available flight.

I’m glad to be home.
At home, at last.

Postsecret Sunday/ rekindled.

Back in Singapore, I remember waking up fill with excitment on Sunday mornings to see the postsecrets updates. I realise I’ve been so caught up my weekend plans these few months in the UK that my love for postsecret dimmed a little.

Now, I think I can say I may be falling in love with it, all over again–
people who don’t know each other, but sharing the same secrets.. intriguing, isn’t it? To know you’re not that alone, after all…

If you know me well enough, you’ll know how I’ll refuse to step out of the house with shoes that I’m not happy with. Yes, shoes are important. They make a statement, and they bring you to your destination. Well, literally..

Trust has to be earned. And I hate to admit I have problems with trust.

Some dreams are better made when they’re shared.

Nope, I’m not itching to get married.. but I find the notion of someone wanting to spend the rest of his life with someone else pretty old-school romantic…

Smile and be happy

I have a problem.

Here I am, revising for my last paper… and smiling to myself.

It’s either the good weather outside, or, I’m going crazy.

Since William James (1890) believes that bodily reaction causes internal feelings, I have to say all these smiling is making me happy.

Barely a week. Barely enough.

6 more days in the UK. And I’ll be home.
Mixed feelings, I’ll say.

I sit here, looking out of my window, just out of a long shower after a morning paper and a good jog. Then I think, about the people back at home. Like I’ve said before, coming over to the UK for this exchange programme is one of the most wonderful thing that happened so far in my university education… but of cos, there are trade-offs too…
…like not being able to be there for my sisters (yes, we hae our disagreements some times, but deep down, they’re very important to me) and my family
…like drifting away from my friends. Friends who will religiously keep in contach with me at first, and then gradually disappear;
…like missing out on the small, almost insignificant moments I would have taken for granted if I was at home

That’s why I say returning home can be scary (not just because I have lots to pack, but I have to admit I have a crazy amount of things to pack)..realising that I’ve gradually gotten used to the social circle I keep here, the lifestyle, and getting use to missing everyone at home
and drifting further and further away from those at home…

Now, barely a week. I’ll be home.
Perhaps complaining about the crazy humidity and how hot Singapore is,
Perhaps finding the need to re-orientate myself a bit here and there.

But one thing I know for sure– it’s time to go home, and be someone who will be there.

Damaged.

My friend told me that she is so damaged in the inside that people run away from her, even without trying to help her heal.

Why so?

Spend a little more time, put in a little more effort, and maybe, you’ll get to see how beautiful flaws can be.

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And so, here I am, sitting on my bed. Looking around in my room, getting a little sick of having to study. I must admit that I’ve been quite a slacker (no that I wasn’t one before…). After my first paper yesterday, I was wondering is there’s something wrong with the paper.. turned out that the rubric was wrong.. so yea, now, we’ll all see how the department is going to resolve this issue.

I’m getting really distracted. Thinking about the people I want, no, “need” will be a better word, to meet up with. I’m officially two weeks away from home…

Somehow, I can’t help but to feel a tinge of pre-mature nostalgia..and excitment.. I was crossing out the list of presents to get for my family and I realise, wow, I can’t wait to be home.

Mr S and I had a good talk in the kitchen yesterday… and it was interesting to know how inter-personal relastionships get complex and fustrating after a while.. that’s why i choose to sit back, observe first, before warming up to others…

On a totally irrelevant sidenote: I was blog-surfing, I realised, people never fail to make excuses for themselves, isn’t it?
And I hate to say this, but you’ve never made an effort.

Let me take all the little good in life, and make the best out of it.

Count the little pocketful of sunshine… and who knows?

Closer

“Love is an accident, waiting to happen.
Desire is a stranger you think you know.
Intimacy is a lie we tell ourselves.
Truth is a game you play to win.
If you believe in Love at first sight, you never stop looking..”…

— From the trailer of  “Closer”.

Psst. Exams starts tomorrow!

Postsecret Sunday/ Love and Music

A while more.